holiday party SLAT, apologies, stubbs, kodiak, mustaches, why the real world sucks, pho, DIAB, my wishes for the new year...in that order
we have a lot of ground to cover...drum roll please...
The SLAT®* of Matt Clark, Sunday December 17th 2006
Patrick Carrolls
Red beer
Red beer
Bud Light
Bud Light
Scruffy Murphys
Vodka and whatever gross fucking energy drink that I didn't order or want to drink (but did)
Marquis
Blue Moon
Sambuca shot
Blue Moon
Sambuca shot
Blue Moon
Hornitos
Hornitos
Well Bourbon (possibly Beam)
Blue Moon
That's not too bad. Of course who knows, the end is hazy. The Pete's holiday party was last night, and of course was a massive trainwreck. I succeeded in my goal of not making an ass in front of the little guys from my new store- maybe. Find out tonight. Also there was no unfortunate making out which is also good (and bad if you think about it). I knew it was gonna get gnar, and I prepared myself for this feeling of "oopswhatthefuck". I feel bad for Matt H, as I stranded him at the 'decks' for much of the night. I am a pretty shitty DJ partner.
Ladies and gentlemen, I'm a cook.
This is Signal to Noise's album art. Of course it's called Kodiak. What else would it be called? They played the holiday party last night, and a few years ago pioneered the popular practice of calling me by both my first and last names. Tristan, Knock `Em Out Nolan, Jesse and now James Frank. Amazing dudes, amazing band. High five. I wish them all the luck in the world. I fucking love them. You all should, too. Album tracklist is here.
I love my mustache. So what if it is potential mate-poison? With everyone getting married and having babies there has to be one bastion of bachelorhood for the men in prison to live vicariously through...I have made an art out of getting husbands/boyfriends in trouble. So don't worry fellas; with mullet, mustache, and steel liver in tow (and possibly Longman and Gibby by my side) I will outdrink you all and regale you with stories of the dumb shit I do. You can stay in on a Friday night and not have to worry about the world passing you by (it is though- trust me).
In my hungover state this morning I watched a marathon of The Real World Denver. Doesn't this show keep getting shittier and more pathetic? This is the future of America? Good-looking morons who drink like they are 18 and will fuck anything that moves and can't wait to get on a Challenge? At least back in the day it was an interesting social experiment...now it is a fucking joke. They make Denver look pretty cool, although I noticed in the opening they tagged a "Colorado!" at the end- like some people may need help figuring out where Denver is. And that wouldn't surprise me because we are a nation of retards who have babies. Anyway I'm watching the episode where these two whores both hook up with the same dude (they are all roommates, and whores). But the ladies decided 'chicks before dicks' and cried their way through it saying such brilliant things as "Coly will be at my wedding!!!". Keep in mind that this is quite literally the second or third day they are in the house. Later on that night the dude decides he is into the first whore he hooked up with (which is prompted by her bringing a random dude home from the bar- weird!!). So they talk about maybe seeing if something is there. PRICELESS! Fucking retards! These are college kids? Example:
-"I like want to like, you know, like, have a relationship but still like, you know...I'm young you know like I just want to like you know like like someone like you know like like like you know."
"No yeah like I totally like know like exactly like you know how you're feeling and like you know that's like totally cool you know like you're someone like you know like like like you know like you know like like you know hook up."
And I said...what? Is it like The DaVinci Code and somehow if we correspond the "likes" and "you knows" to the Aramaic alphabet the location of Jesus' foreskin will be revealed? Or are they sending coordinates to the mothership? Fucking ridiculous.
I am trying to wrap this up so I can go eat some pho. The hangover ANNHILIATOR. Trust me. And to call Matt H. Seriously, I feel bad.
Everyone on the planet has seen or heard this.
And my wish for the new year? We'll get into that later.
*'Scott Longman Alcohol Timeline' or SLAT is a registered trademark of S. William Longman, all rights reserved.
The SLAT®* of Matt Clark, Sunday December 17th 2006
Patrick Carrolls
Red beer
Red beer
Bud Light
Bud Light
Scruffy Murphys
Vodka and whatever gross fucking energy drink that I didn't order or want to drink (but did)
Marquis
Blue Moon
Sambuca shot
Blue Moon
Sambuca shot
Blue Moon
Hornitos
Hornitos
Well Bourbon (possibly Beam)
Blue Moon
That's not too bad. Of course who knows, the end is hazy. The Pete's holiday party was last night, and of course was a massive trainwreck. I succeeded in my goal of not making an ass in front of the little guys from my new store- maybe. Find out tonight. Also there was no unfortunate making out which is also good (and bad if you think about it). I knew it was gonna get gnar, and I prepared myself for this feeling of "oopswhatthefuck". I feel bad for Matt H, as I stranded him at the 'decks' for much of the night. I am a pretty shitty DJ partner.
Ladies and gentlemen, I'm a cook.
This is Signal to Noise's album art. Of course it's called Kodiak. What else would it be called? They played the holiday party last night, and a few years ago pioneered the popular practice of calling me by both my first and last names. Tristan, Knock `Em Out Nolan, Jesse and now James Frank. Amazing dudes, amazing band. High five. I wish them all the luck in the world. I fucking love them. You all should, too. Album tracklist is here.
I love my mustache. So what if it is potential mate-poison? With everyone getting married and having babies there has to be one bastion of bachelorhood for the men in prison to live vicariously through...I have made an art out of getting husbands/boyfriends in trouble. So don't worry fellas; with mullet, mustache, and steel liver in tow (and possibly Longman and Gibby by my side) I will outdrink you all and regale you with stories of the dumb shit I do. You can stay in on a Friday night and not have to worry about the world passing you by (it is though- trust me).
In my hungover state this morning I watched a marathon of The Real World Denver. Doesn't this show keep getting shittier and more pathetic? This is the future of America? Good-looking morons who drink like they are 18 and will fuck anything that moves and can't wait to get on a Challenge? At least back in the day it was an interesting social experiment...now it is a fucking joke. They make Denver look pretty cool, although I noticed in the opening they tagged a "Colorado!" at the end- like some people may need help figuring out where Denver is. And that wouldn't surprise me because we are a nation of retards who have babies. Anyway I'm watching the episode where these two whores both hook up with the same dude (they are all roommates, and whores). But the ladies decided 'chicks before dicks' and cried their way through it saying such brilliant things as "Coly will be at my wedding!!!". Keep in mind that this is quite literally the second or third day they are in the house. Later on that night the dude decides he is into the first whore he hooked up with (which is prompted by her bringing a random dude home from the bar- weird!!). So they talk about maybe seeing if something is there. PRICELESS! Fucking retards! These are college kids? Example:
-"I like want to like, you know, like, have a relationship but still like, you know...I'm young you know like I just want to like you know like like someone like you know like like like you know."
"No yeah like I totally like know like exactly like you know how you're feeling and like you know that's like totally cool you know like you're someone like you know like like like you know like you know like like you know hook up."
And I said...what? Is it like The DaVinci Code and somehow if we correspond the "likes" and "you knows" to the Aramaic alphabet the location of Jesus' foreskin will be revealed? Or are they sending coordinates to the mothership? Fucking ridiculous.
I am trying to wrap this up so I can go eat some pho. The hangover ANNHILIATOR. Trust me. And to call Matt H. Seriously, I feel bad.
Everyone on the planet has seen or heard this.
And my wish for the new year? We'll get into that later.
*'Scott Longman Alcohol Timeline' or SLAT is a registered trademark of S. William Longman, all rights reserved.
posted by matt clark at 11:24 AM
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