Monday, November 06, 2006


So I totally thought Joanna Newsom was tonight, not last night. Maybe if I didn't drink all goddamn day I would've remembered. I didn't even realize it when Laura told me last night she wasn't going, or when I spent eight hours at the Bluebird on Saturday, underneath a marquee that read "SUN: JOANNA NEWSOM". That's so dumb. It might be me being delirious all the time because of a severe lack of sleep. I can't get more than 6 hours, ever. I drank all day yesterday and turned my light out at midnight, and lo and behold at 540AM I pop out of bed (well, I didn't pop) ready to start my day. I don't have to be anywhere until 11. Dumb. Let's look over the symptoms of sleep deprivation.

irritability: yes. very irritated. with everyone.
blurred vision: yes.
slurred speech: almost always. again last night someone thought I introduced myself as "Ben", not "Matt". which happens ALLTHEFUCKINGTIME.
memory lapses / memory Loss: example- the joanna newsom show.
overall confusion: of course. I am thoroughly confused with everything.
hallucinations: yes. the little movements in the peripherals that drive me nuts.
hernia: I don't really know what that is. back problem or something. I just remember Weird Al's "Living with a Hernia".
nausea: yes.
psychosis: well, no, maybe. no.
depression: not anymore than usual.
decreased mental activity: this is true. football+beer all day and even that was a chore.
decreased concentration: also true.
Decreased ability for the immune system to fight off sickness: we will find out.
Weight gain: ha!
increased blood pressure: dunno.
Aching muscles: yes.
Faster aging: have you seen the circles under my eyes?
Impatience: I don't even want to finish filling this shit out. totally over it.
Slowed reaction time: which allowed me to step on my belt buckle the other night fucking up the heel of my right foot.
Misbehavior: always misbehaving.
Yawning: huge yawner.
Daytime Naps: well this one no. never. not a napper.
Hypertension/Hyperactivity: sure. why not.
dizziness: well i am incredibly clumsy anyway, so it's hard to say whether it's dizziness or retardation.

Aha! See! Diagnosis: sleep deprived. Look at this as well (taken from, what else, Wikipedia).

"According to a 2000 study published in the British scientific journal, researchers in Australia and New Zealand reported that sleep deprivation can have some of the same hazardous effects as being drunk. Getting less than 6 hours a night can affect coordination, judgment and reaction time. People who drove after being awake for 17–19 hours performed worse than those with a blood alcohol level of .05 percent, which is the legal limit for drunk driving in most western European countries (U.S. states set their blood alcohol limits at .08 percent). In addition, as a result on continuous muscular activity without proper rest time, effects such as cramping are much more frequent in sleep-deprived individuals. Extreme cases of sleep deprivation have been reported to be associated with hernias, muscle fascia tears, and other such problems commonly associated with physical overexertion. Beyond impaired motor skills, people who get too little sleep may have higher levels of stress, anxiety and depression, and may take unnecessary risks. According to the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration, over 100,000 traffic accidents each year are caused by fatigue and drowsiness. A new study has shown that while total sleep deprivation for one night caused many errors, the errors were not significant until after the second night of total sleep deprivation."

Oh great. Cramping. This sucks. I am a boozer anyways. Anyway I'm bored now. I always bitch about sleep. Always. It's cos I don't get any.

Let's do a Longman style alcohol timeline.
SUNDAY...1PM to 10PMish
1. Bloody Mary - Patrick Carroll's
2. Bud Light - Patrick Carroll's
3. Bud Light - Patrick Carroll's
4. Jameson shot - Patrick Carroll's
5. Bud Light with V8 - Patrick Carroll's
6. Coors Light - Illegal Pete's
7. Bud Bottle - Elitch Lanes
8. Bud Bottle - Elitch Lanes
10. Bud Bottle - Elitch Lanes
11. Corazon shot - Elitch Lanes
12. Amstel Light - Pourhouse
13. Hornitos shot - Pourhouse
14. Tullamore Dew shot - Pourhouse
15. Amstel Light - Pourhouse
16. Amstel Light - Pourhouse
17. Tully shot - Pourhouse
18. Hornitos shot - Lure
19. Blueberry Stoli pres - Lure

My own personal marathon. And yesterday was a good day. On another note, if I get one more fucking dumb myspace message from "JENIHEART" or "HEATHER HOTTT!!" about how much they loved my profile I am going to head butt the computer. I reply to each and every one "fuck off and die".

Maybe this post should be called "Monday Morning Negativity".

I love cheese.

Have you heard this band Made Out Of Babies? Awesome fucking name. More info about MOOB's (ha!) CMJ show here!.


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